Hope vs. Expectation

The topic of yesterday's meditation was "discrimination." Not in terms of racial or gender injustice, but rather being able to understand the difference between one thing and another. For example, being able to recognize right from wrong. Or standing at a fork in the road and being able to realize which one is truly best for you. The question that came to mind for me was, "how can you discriminate between hope and expectation?"

To me hope is something that is meant to help you out through life. It's the foundation for optimism, one of the forces that get you out of bed in the morning, and a feeling that allows you to look forward to something. I've had my moments of losing hope but as a relentless optimist it comes back easily. But I've seen people lose hope completely and that is quite a scary place to be.

Expectation on the other hand is something that can get you into trouble. It can create a false sense of reality and set you up for disappointment. It doesn't let you experience reality for what it is, and it doesn't let people be who they actually are. There was all kinds of talk about non-expectation at the ashram. It was a bit easier to practice non-expectation living the simple life and I found that when I did I was blessed with a billion great surprises. However here in a life of busy interaction, big goals, new and old relationships, and constant coming and goings, it's just not so easy.

Though it seems like you could discriminate hope as being good and expectation as being bad, it's pretty hard for me to tell the difference when faced with desire. They both come from desire, and for me both create an optimistic thought. Rarely are my expectations negative (though maybe that's a problem), in fact they tend to be too positive, too lofty, too big. So, for example if you call someone on the phone and leave a voicemail, is it a hope OR expectation that they will call you back? Can you hope for them to call you back without expecting? And then this brings in the concepts of BELIEF and ATTACHMENT. In my experience, I've found that if you truly believe in something hard enough it will come true. It's happened. But can you believe in something without attachment?

I think the question came to me because I can see the way expectation has diminished some of my experiences. Usually when I get the feeling that "something is wrong" it's because an expectation was not met. So I just want to be more careful of where my idealistic brain takes me. It will run into the fluffy white clouds if I let it. Leaving room for surprise, letting go of control, and not worrying about an outcome.