A psychotherapist named Virginia Satir said we need 4 hugs a day for survival, 8 for maintenance, and 12 for growth. While the true effects of a hug are more qualitative than quantitative there is something about these numbers that make sense. A couple weekends ago after a full day of workshopping at a conference I went to bed totally exhausted yet happy. As I recalled the good events of the day I realized that I got quite a lot of hugs. So many that I wasn't even sure of the number but guessed it to be between 20 and 30. At day 2 of the conference I decided to keep a count and by the end of the day I was up to 39. What fascinated me most was that at the end of the day I could recall every single one.
Through the following weekdays I also kept track of the hugs and most days it was less than 5. But then the weekend came again and in came a flood of hugs at a baby shower and funeral. By then I let go of trying to keep track and I'm not going to count anymore cause I don't want this to be about numbers. What I do want it to be about are multiple DAILY genuine connections, and hugs are one concrete way to get that. It makes me wonder what my lifetime hug quota will be and all the people who get to be a part of that. So many people. It's a beautiful thought.
If I had my way everyday I'd conveniently get to hug those people I care most about. We all have those people in our lives where one hug from them is worth a million. Though I don't get to see most of these people everyday, there are lots of other expressions of love that can defy distance and even time. And when I think about how many of those I get a day I feel pure gratitude.
1 comments:
Wowowow how many hugs have we had in our whole lives?
A few from DG...
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