Joy. 11:34 PM

I witnessed the last sunset of summer 2010 with my toes in the sand and guitar in my arms. The sound of the waves drowned out my voice as I played every song I wrote this summer on my baby taylor and ended my little tribute with some sanskrit. And as I turned around to walk back home the harvest moon rose from the east in perfect alignment with the sidewalk I was on.

I woke up this morning unusually early feeling a happy buzz in my head from a conversation the night before and a sense of an energetic shift in the air. Something was up. Sure enough in my planner a full moon was drawn and I got an email from Risa informing me that not only is it a full moon it's a super harvest moon that happens only about every 20 years. A full moon on the equinox. I just took another peak at it with Jupiter also shining brightly.

I learned a secret on Monday night: "The secret of joy is giving."

Makes enough sense to me. I watch so many TED talks that I lose track of who is who but I remember one speaker who talked about a study done where participants were given $100. Half were told to spend it on themselves, the other half were told to spend it on others. Results showed the people who spent the money on others were happier, and had more fun spending the money.

So I asked myself, what is the biggest thing I've ever given and how much joy did I actually feel? The first thing that comes to mind is the guitar I gave away earlier this year in Bali. It was a cheap guitar I bought in India that I drew all over and it didn't sound very good really but its sentimental value was tremendous. I played it everyday at the ashram and carried that baby around southern India, Hong Kong, Alaska, and Bali. It was played on mountains, in trains, on beaches, on porches, in homes, in hotel rooms, and in airports. When I let it go to Ketut, a polite teenage Balinese boy, the look in his eyes made me so happy I could have cried. I was also happy that I could now go off to India again with truly only what I could carry on my back. And I am still happy to know that guitar is not hanging on my wall collecting dust and looking pretty but that someone on the other side of the world promised me he would practice what I taught him.

But there has got to be something bigger than that, and it comes to mind that the biggest things we give are not things at all. To me, time and energy hold the most value in how I can contribute to this world. TIME especially is so precious to me and I am very careful as to how it gets distributed. Probably the largest act of time and energy I've given is when I interned full time without pay for 6 months in an inpatient rehab facility. But even when I do get paid I still feel like I am giving of myself, especially in my line of work where I provide services and experiences.

And that bring me to something a former yoga teacher once told me..... that the act of helping people makes you feel good because as you do endorphins are released in the brain. This "feeling good"sensation can be similar to a high induced by substances (though obviously healthier). Funny guy that he is said something like, "so I realized I'm not helping people selflessly, I'm doing it to get high!" So that is my dilemma with "the secret of joy is giving." If we know that giving will bring us joy, and if we give because we want to receive joy, isn't that selfish?

Luckily for me I was able to ask the question out loud to Turiya who introduced me to the concept of "spiritual selfishness." A good reminder that things are not black and white. Not all selfishness is bad, there is a proper way for it. And I now realize I certainly shouldn't feel guilty for wanting to feel good about giving. It is okay to have an intention to receive joy as long as its not loaded up with expectation. So what if I want to feel good about what I do, so what if I want joy in return for putting in my best efforts, so what if I've used this blog to brag about the things I've given....... maybe if we were all more spiritually selfish there would be more joy in this world. It also makes me think that selfishness itself is not all that bad. One things I've learned in my years of work is that you have to take care of yourself before anyone else or you are not doing anyone any good and in my case if I'm not taking care of myself I am being a hypocrite.

Perhaps our individual experiences of joy do add to a collective, and to be a part of that collective we have to give. Give to ourselves and others.

Ending this with a shout out to one of my favorite people in the universe, the beautiful soul Benny Luttrell who started a blog and will be documenting his upcoming trip to India. We met there last year and now the she calls him back. He is also the founder of the Maha Mountain Movement in Colorado. So proud of him.

Whales! 12:27 PM

Back in December I made a New Years resolution to see a whale. Despite living on some Pacific coast for my whole life I had never seen one. As good timing finds those with an intention, I saw one within a few days off the coast of Hilo when we were showing my Australian girlfriends around on their first day there. My brother pointed out a humpback waving it's big fin at us, and I waved back.

This past Monday I was taking an afternoon walk around Redondo and as I was walking up the ramp to go back home I noticed a strange mist out in the ocean, and then what looked like a fountain coming up out of the water, then another one, and another one. There was a father and daughter with binoculars looking out and the dad told me there was a group of about five blue whales out there. I stood there and watched for a while, just amazed that the biggest living mammal was out there.

I was so excited about this I ran home and called by brother and dad (the two best ocean men I know) and then sent out a group text message to about ten people in the area with the hope that someone else would be just as excited as I was and make an effort to go see these whales. There was one person who I almost didn't bother texting because for some reason assumed he wouldn't care. But surprise surprise the young Josh/Ethan was the one person who called me from the beach saying "where are they????" No sense in assuming. You just never know. Kudos to you my huckleberry friend.

And more assumptions challenged. I was so amazed by these whales I built it up in my head that this was some kind of once in a lifetime event and I was so lucky to have such good timing and what a good sign this is and so on and so on. A couple of days later I saw the same thing, and again I thought holy shit this is amazing I'm seeing them AGAIN do these whales know that I'm here watching them and really what are the chances of this, I'm the luckiest person alive! A nice lady with a nose ring smoking a cigarette let me use her binoculars and I was gawking at the whales she said, "yeah they've been out here everyday feeding on the krill out there." Grounded. A little voice in my head laughed and said this has nothing to do with you, the whales are here to eat!

So letting go of reason, I have had an enjoyable week observing the marine wildlife. Everyday this week I've watched either whales or dolphins. There is something so beautiful about that.

I have two other new years resolutions. Both come with some degree of chance, or I should say the outcome is not one of those things I can really work towards. If I could, I would go full on into it. I am absolutely willing to work hard for this things I want, so instead this year I challenged myself to choose things that require a little letting go of control. We'll shall see.

I bet people who design book covers for a living hate the expression "never judge a book by its cover." - Mark Hoppus

Thank you, Frank. 8:59 PM

I would like to acknowledge Frank Ferrante for:

1. Being a shining example of positive transformation.

2. Putting a great effort into health and love even when it was difficult.

3. Allowing his life to be transparent for the greater good.

4. Inspiring others to live their best and love their best.

4. Having the courage to be vulnerable and authentic.

5. Being a fantastic hugger.

Thank you, Frank. Who wouldn't want to hug a man wearing that shirt?!

Frank is the star of the film May I Be Frank, but he is not actor. I've written about this before but this is worth a repeat. He is a man who took a few million conscious steps forward to be a better person- healthier, happier, more compassionate, more aware, and more able to love himself. His transformation is documented in the film by Gregg Marks and the good people at Cafe Gratitude are his costars. All of them together creating a beautiful story that is an invitation to see potential. The potential of yourself, of reaching out to someone else, of teamwork, of life.

I saw this film for the first time a few months ago at a screening in Venice and it got me. When I heard it would be shown at the Wellness Film Festival at Agape in Culver City I just had to see it again, as a reminder of what I learned last time: that the rewards of positive change are worth the effort, love yourself no matter what, and of course that I get by with a little help from my friends. Seeing it the second time was just as moving. I've been feeling unusually unbalanced and uneasy the past couple of days and so it was nice to be in the grounding space the film creates.

With any relatable story what we all end up doing is projecting ourselves onto it. Frank's story is one with such human elements that I'm sure most people will see parts of themselves in it. I've learned that when something in a movie (or book or song) makes you cry or laugh or feel that resonance, it's a signal to yourself saying something here is significant in this moment, and that usually has to do with something to be learned. The first time I saw this film I saw most of my projections in his struggles with things like communication with his family, self doubt, buried emotions, and fatigue. This time, despite my more solemn mood I connected more with his success.

It's no coincidence that I felt this on the 9th anniversary of September 11th. When I look back on where I was nine years ago, I see my own transformation. On this day in 2001 I was just going through the motions at a job I hated, I was applying to Optometry school, and had a safe little plan of becoming an eye doctor, getting married, buying a house, and having kids. None of that happened. And not that anything was wrong with that plan, I was just not honoring my full potential or my true passions, and I was not happy. So I made a tremendous effort to change and I became a music therapist, singer/songwriter, musician, and business owner. I have travelled around the world nearly twice and met my biggest heros (I just had a nice laugh thinking about what I would say to myself if I could meet the Ami that existed on September 11,2001...... I would say, hey cheer up cause in three months you are gonna meet Dave Grohl, get your shit together!). it was rough at times. Rough, but worth it. Though I have my moody moments, I can say I am happy with my life right now, in fact I'm pretty blown away with this life I lead. Amazing.

So here are more projections. It's the qualities you most admire in others that you want to be known for also. So I acknowledge myself for the same things as Frank. After all, it takes two good huggers to make a good hug.

And even better I was able to buy the movie so I have a copy of it here, let's watch it and keep this going.....

Popular with animals 12:01 PM

"And people who love... age slower, run faster, jump higher, eat healthier, tend to live in cottages, are as happy with friends as they are alone, climb more trees, skip when they could walk, kiss when they could talk, take the odd Friday off, experience faster manifestations, and are really popular with animals."

The future is paved with better days. 7:08 PM

The song "Better Days" by Eddie Vedder is the latest spark to my heart. He's got that something in his voice where he could be singing about how great a hamburger tastes and I'd still listen (he wouldn't though, he's a vegetarian). But here he is singing about love and being a part of the universe and the beauty of internal journeys...... and it's off the Eat Pray Love soundtrack..... I wonder if this song was meant especially for me. It gets me and I'm glad we found each other.

In the late afternoon today I took a walk on the beach with my ipod. I made an awesome mix for my yoga session this morning so I put it back on to enjoy. It was overcast, cool, and the waters were grey and easy going. As I reached my turn around point at Torrance Beach I was greeted by a couple of dolphins jumping up and around in the water. I walked towards the waves and noticed there were more in this pod leisurely swimming north, the same way as me. So I kept along on the wet sand rather than going back on the path and for the next mile jogged slowly along with them. And when Better Days played through my headphones I had one of those moments where everything just seemed right and in place. A beautiful song for a beautiful moment. When I came to the lifeguard stand to turn east, they also swam back out to deeper waters.

Lovely day.

Both Sara and I have been making an effort to listen to only positive music. So far on my playlist I have Brett Dennen, the Make Peace Brothers, Josh Ritter, Feist, Mraz, the Beatles, U2, Death Cab for Cutie, and Eddie Vedder. These people are saving the world.

Thank You August 4:49 PM

"What are you attached to?"

Was the question asked tonight at the Ananda Meditation Center. It made me happy that it took me a while to think of something, and my answer wasn't all that bad. If this had been asked a year ago I would have said a guy named Jared, traveling, saving money, and an album I was working on. Those things were not terribly bad either but the stress of each pulled on me. Not anymore!

These days my attachments are the internet, food, and music. But these are very general things, so what is underneath that causing feelings of attachment? I feel like the internet keeps me connected to the world. I don't watch TV or listen to the radio much so I get my news online. All the people I've met traveling I can keep up with on facebook even if they are all the way down in Australia (it is very hard to coordinate a phone call to Australia). And I love blogging, I've been doing it for over 10 years now. With food I feel connected to the earth and the service of people. Like this cup of tea I'm drinking, I just think of all the people involved to get this to me. Lucky for me my food attachment isn't a craving for donuts or In and Out Burger but when I wake up in the morning I cannot wait to make me a green smoothie and sip it and smile. And I love a good meal in good company, on my juice cleanse I learned how much of a social thing eating is. Tonight Maryam and I ate fish and veggie burritos and shared a lovely hour together. And music.... that's where I feel pure love, at times it's my higher power.

I am realizing that my attachment is actually to feeling connected. I feel joy and happiness when I feel connected, I feel alive. I am aware that this is like a drug for me.

As August 2010 comes to an end I look back and realize I experienced an abundance of introductions and new connections. I've met all kinds of people from a woman named Amor to Brett Dennen's girlfriend. I met the talented and sweet man who produced John Mayer's Continuum. I LOVE THAT ALBUM. I met a singer named Rohwyn who kindly brought me along to a diner to eat with Rachael Yamagata and her band. I met a writer named Erin who hosted a beautiful workshop in her home in Topanga. I met a man who once met Jimi Hendrix in Seattle. I met a manager of Cafe Gratitude who told a story of meeting her dad for the first time. I met a dietitian, a nutritionist, an owner of a recording studio, and the executive director of a program I'm going to do music therapy and yoga with. I've even connected with someone I've never even met through my accountant (aka Don the Nicest Man Ever) and even if it's just getting a thoughtfully written email or being in the presence of someone who has done beautiful things, it's still that same great feeling.

I will proudly say that one talent I've been blessed with is the ability to meet whoever I want. And I mean whoever. No matter how high profile, if I really want to meet someone it happens. I've met my biggest heroes, multiple times. I will frequently boast about this cause it seems like the more I do the more it happens.

Thank you August. Looking forward to September.

Tears of a grown man. 11:05 PM

I ran into a former patient of mine today in the halls of the hospital that I occasionally work at. When he saw me his face lit up, then melted as tears welled up in his eyes and he said, "I'm so happy to see you, I miss your music."

This is it. This is the reminder that is so important to get, not just as a music therapist but as a human being. That our lives influence even the ones we don't think about anymore.

Let's just call him Simon (no it's not Paul Simon). Problem is he has DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder aka Multiple Personality Disorder) and he has over 300 personalities (or alters as we call it), so one of them may very well be named Simon. But for the sake of making up a name let's just use that. I met Simon back in the day when I worked full time at the hospital on the trauma unit. He came in a mess, and when I did his assessment he sat cowering and crying in a corner of the room. His dissociation was uncontrollable and his history of physical, sexual, and emotional abuse was one of the worst I have ever heard. I won't even say it here in fear of tainting any reader's view of what kind of place this world is for some people. I remember how much it tested my optimism.

The program I worked on was made of a team of great therapists, doctors, and nurses. On this team it was my job to do the "fun stuff," the music, art, meditation, exercise, or anything else creative. Simon loved the music therapy groups. His dissociation would mellow out, and he would even smile at times just to hear live music. He's one of those people who carry their ipod on them so much that it becomes a part of them. So we related to each other as two music fanatics and he'd play me songs on his ipod that I just had to hear and during music therapy groups his enthusiasm for it was contagious to the other patients. I'll admit, part of why I liked working with him so much was that when he was in my group I was a big hit. Despite all that he had been through and his fragile psychological state, he could say that he was a person who loved listening to music.

I helped him work through some of his stress triggers, one of them being the word "relax." I didn't know this was a trigger until I did a relaxation group and he was nearly convulsing and crawling on the ground after having PTSD episode after some breathing exercise. He later told me that I kept saying the word "relax" which set him off. So together we brainstormed how I could avoid using the word "relax" in the relaxation groups and practiced staying grounded in case I accidentally let it slip out. It's easy to find synonyms for "relaxing" as an adjective but not so easy as a verb.

Simon came in and out of the program over the next couple of years and happened to be in when I resigned from the position to go travel the world. On my last day there, in my last group he refused to participate and sat in the back with his arms crossed, pouting. But when it was time for me to leave at the end of the day I came around to say good bye to everyone and he walked up to me with tears falling out of his eyes and he was able to express his gratitude and we parted with a warm hug.

Today when I saw him he was in a wheelchair since one of his alters has an eating disorder. I walked along side of him for a bit to catch up. We acknowledged that we may never see each other again and shared a nice moment of appreciation for each other. Thank you.

In my career I've witnessed all kinds of people crying, tears of joy and pain. But there is something about seeing a grown man in this state. Other than Simon I've seen the tears of a vice-principle, attorney, and a very large seven foot tall man. I don't TRY to do this it just happens, and I say go for it, let it out.

Where the light is. 10:43 PM

I'd like to present an example of how it is possible to get everything you want. And how sometimes living in Los Angeles can get you in a situation where you have to choose between seeing a guru or John Mayer.

Today was one of those days where everything happens at the same time, creating the illusion that you have to choose between the options. I got scheduled to work an eight hour shift, which is a welcome event even on a Sunday. I try to take every shift I can work into my schedule. However a few weeks ago I found out that Swami Kriyananda was going to be giving a talk in Hollywood at the Ford Amphitheater. Since he is a direct disciple of Paramahansa Yogananda, the teachers at the meditation center were so excited about so it I thought I should go see what the big deal is and to participate in a spiritual event. Then last week I got reminded by John Mayer himself (by following him on twitter) that he would be playing at the Hollywood Bowl on the magic day of August 22nd. As much as I like my job and wanted to work, I didn't want to pass up either event so I called everyone I could to cover my shift, but to no avail.

It was a bit of a relief since I was battling it out in my mind whether I should go see Swami Kriyananda or John Mayer. Do I go see someone with a small ego or big ego? Do I go to an event to deepen my sense of spirituality or to watch a hot guy play guitar? But that's not why I like him so much. I get a lot of shit for this especially in my circle of musician friends, but I don't care, I will openly declare my love for John Mayer's music. I greatly admire his songwriting and guitar skills.

After talking with Sara last night I realized I probably could still work and make it out to Hollywood if I hustled enough and got off early. So that is what I did today. I worked through my breaks and got everything done by 4:30. Since I already had a ticket to see Swami and I knew my friend Chase would be there I chose the guru over the guitarist and drove straight out to the Ford Amphitheater, which turns out to be RIGHT NEXT to the Hollywood Bowl. I made it just in time and got a pretzel and a good seat.

The Ford Amphitheater is a fantastic venue. In all my years of concert going I didn't even know it existed, but it's a small outdoor venue with a great view at every seat and a nice atmosphere. I was immediately glad that I was there. Neale Donald Walsch (author of Conversations with God) gave a nice introductory speech. While he was talking, some music in the distance started and it was Owl City, Mayer's opening band! I could hear the Hollywood Bowl show at the same time! Swami Kriyanada came onstage with the beautiful energy of a spiritually advanced being. He was in a wheelchair because of some recent health problems but gave a nice talk about his life and how he met his guru and his life before and after. One thing that stuck in my head was when he mentioned there is no such thing as failure. There is "I have not succeed yet" but not "I failed."

Before the lecture ended a woman came onstage to talk about a new book that Swami Kriyananda wrote presenting research about how he is the reincarnated Henry I. I'm all about past lives but this was a bit much for me, maybe one day I'll be ready to take this in a little more , but when I heard the Hollywood Bowl crowd erupt by what was most likely the presence of John Mayer I totally stopped listening to her. Though I had a small moment of wanting a view of the Bowl I just relaxed in my seat and listened and felt happy that I just experienced everything I wanted in this day. I was able to work, get some spiritual inspiration, and hear John Mayer play live.

My drive home was made beautiful with a conversation with Benny as we talked about the great things we always talk about- India, yoga, and love. I felt so energized by the time I got home I didn't want to stay in so I gathered my things and went out and....did my laundry. Which is what I am doing now in a comfortable house with City Love playing loudly overhead.

Eat, Pray, Love 11:39 PM

Some questions that I frequently get asked:

• What is music therapy?
• Are you a vegetarian?
• How old are you?
• Have you read Eat Pray Love?

Short answers: Using music for non-musical goals, most of the time, 30, and yes more than once.

Ok I will admit, more than twice. I'm asked about this book because in most social conversations I can easily bring up tales about my travels to Italy, India, and Indonesia..... or to the many countries I've visited in the past couple years. Like Elizabeth Gilbert my time in these countries particularly expanded my experience of life. And that's putting it lightly. I have memories in these places so strong that I can just close my eyes right now and still see it, smell it, and taste it. Clearly. And especially clearly right now since I just saw the movie. Nat and I went to see it tonight at the Gold Class Cinemas in Pasadena. She said it would be like sitting first class in an airplane. She was right, this made the Arclight seem ordinary.

I'm not going to critique the movie, I can't because I feel much to attached to give an honest answer. But I will say I was happy with the ways the cultures were presented and of course, the book was better.

When I saw the trailer a few months ago I got concerned that seeing this movie would trigger a that restless tiger inside of me. I've done pretty well at taming it over the past six months so I could focus on my business plans and personal relationships at home. But it's still there, I feel it. And I sometimes have to tiptoe around it, careful not to wake up a potential roar of wanderlust that I know from the past. Two years ago I decided the "American Dream" was not my dream, that working 40 hours a week paycheck to paycheck is no way to live life, and that there was a world out there I wanted to see. So I donated most of my belonging and put the rest of it in a storage unit, saved up money and quit my full time job, and took off and travelled. I never felt so ALIVE and FREE.

And just to remind myself, I am still very alive and have more freedom than most people I know.

But of course that feeling of being "alive" is just more intense outside of familiarity. Like Liz I ate my way through Italy (pizza, gelati, and pasta every single day and didn't gain a pound), lived at an ashram in India, and met the healers Ketut Liyer and Wayan Nuriashi in Bali. Through the movie I got flashbacks of taxi rides in India, drunken moments from Italian wine, romance in foreign lands, the ease of making new friends abroad, learning languages, learning lessons, laughing, crying, ohhhhh man I miss it all. Not that it doesn't happen in my life here, it does. But in travel everything is accelerated and magnified. The amount of things you do in a day are equal to a week in "real life" and spending a week with someone traveling is like putting in years into a relationship.

This week I've been feeling somewhat discouraged at the state of some of my personal relationships. I had an unsettling moment where I felt like nothing has changed even though I have been around the world twice. I actually asked myself, has anything changed? And did I learn anything if it all just went back to the way it was?

After all I've done in the past couple years that is a scary question to have to face. The obvious answer is that OF COURSE I've learned, and so much has changed. I suppose one of the things I learned is that you can't run away from anything.

When I met Ketut Lityer he told me I am very lucky, will live to be 100, gave me sex advice, and taught me a meditation to help open my heart. He said, "you have to believe." Believe.

Food! 12:25 AM

Food again! The 2 day juice cleanse turned into 4. The first two days were pretty easy so I wanted to take on more of a challenge and I'm glad I did because each day was different.

By the end of the second day Maryam and I learned the beauty of variety. Even by then I was sick of carrot juice. The third day got a little harder and I felt like I was PMSing with my senses heightened and irritability setting in. I also strained myself a bit from doing yoga the day before and worked all day. So that night Maryam and I were kind to ourselves and went to get massages at the Relaxation Spot in Riviera Village. SOoooo good. The fourth day was the hardest and I felt a bit lightheaded at night but really not all that bad. I found that when I woke up in the morning and committed my mind and actions to juicing, then it was easy to just accept that's the way its gonna be that day. I wasn't even tempted to eat because it wasn't an option.

Tempted or not I realized food was everywhere and had to turn it down many times over the past four days. So much of our social life involves eating. The smell of food is everywhere also. As is talk of eating. These are just observations I'm not saying it's good or bad. A good meal is a an excellent reason for people to get together, but it would be nice to be more creative in the way we spend time together.

So this morning I broke my fast by eating a grapefruit! I had a bowl of soup for dinner six hours ago and I still feel full. I can feel the food in my stomach and its strange but nice. I am being mindful of what I put back into my body and all I am craving are healthy things anyway... lentils, raw veggies, hummus, sprouted bread, salad...... I enjoyed every single bite of food I took today!

I plan on doing this again next month. Just to make it clear this is not some kind of weight loss diet. To be sure of that I didn't weigh myself before, so it wouldn't be about that.

What I learned about juice cleansing:

1. Set an honest intention.

2. Give your taste buds a variety of flavors.

3. Don't let yourself get too hungry.

4. Do it with a buddy.

Juicy! Day One. 10:22 PM

Here I sit in the last few hours of Juice Cleanse Day One. And I feel great! Maryam and I have committed to at least two days of juicing for wellness, because we thought it would be fun. Really. We've been pretty excited about this for weeks now. So we prepared this weekend by buying bulks of veggies and fruits- carrots, celery, apples, beets, spinach, parsley, green peppers, red peppers, bananas, mangoes, grapes, avocados, watermelon, and ginger. Endless combination possibilities! We wrote up a menu for the next couple days and stayed up till midnight chopping up what we could in advance.

We got up this morning all ready to juice with our huge bowl of fruits and veggies, set up the juicer, flipped on the power switch..... and nothing happened. We tried to troubleshoot to no avail. It was quite a setback to have masses of things to juice and a clear and good intention to do so and a faulty juicer. A setback but not a problem. Maryam went off to work and got some fresh juice from whole foods and I improvised and used my blender. I had the morning off so I went to Target and got another juicer, came home, plugged it in, and it worked!

So here was my beautiful super deeelish juice feast today:

Breakfast: mango, almond milk, vitamineral green

Lunch: carrot, beet, celery, apple, parsley

Dinner: mango, avocado, spinach, green pepper, apple

And now I sit here drinking some warm ginger/lemon/apple cider vinegar/honey tea. These juices are so gooooooood that I didn't miss eating and though I did get hungry in the afternoon it's all nice and satisfying. And oh so tasty.

Why am I even doing this....... i love eating, i love food. And that's why. A practice in letting go. Giving my body and mind a break. Exercising willpower and commitment. To detox, clean out my digestive system, and eliminate toxins. I was a bit concerned since I am very moody when hungry and I have to be careful not to let my blood sugar drop or I turn into a crazy person. So I thought oh man how am I not gonna eat.... but I realized I've done it before. I was on a liquid diet for a week after getting a tonsillectomy and earlier this year when I got sick in India and this is a billion times healthier than drinking salty lime sodas and eating crackers for a week. So today all is well. I prepared for this by going vegetarian for a week before, and the weekend before eating smaller meals, and my last meal last night was nice light and healthy sproutada from the Green Temple.

Another concern I have is the emotional one that comes up anytime I've detoxed or cleansed. I've done numerous sugar detoxes, a yeast cleanse, and vaman at the ashram. And each time the challenge was dealing with a change in mood. This time I welcome any feelings that want to present themselves and will be present to coexisting with them. Since this is a whole body/mind/emotional thing I've also committed to daily meditation and not communicating with any person I have an unbalanced relationship with. Using these next few days to be kind to myself, strong in character, and honoring my best and healthiest self.